Let me start by suggesting that I didn't really know what love was until Cece came into my life. I've had what I would consider to be snippets of love in my life prior. I knew what my ideal of what togetherness and marriage should be and I thought I had come close to that having been married twice before. The first time for two years and the second for 14. I was one of those that mistook sex for love the first time around. My life was in a state of chaos after finally escaping from the death grip of organized religion and I was searching for something, anything really to help give my life meaning. Church had erroneously taught me that the meaning of life was a one-size-fits-all kind of thing for everyone. I had to begin to realize that religion was not necessary for spirituality, but after being spoon-fed a heavy diet of chastity, I wanted to see what being naughty was like. After 2 hate-filled years of riding the emotional roller-coaster with Vicky, I went back to the life of a bachelor. I must be one that craves the intimacy that comes from being in a relationship, because 6 months later I was in another one.
Her name was (and I'm assuming still is) Kelly. She and I were together for about a year. I attribute my somewhat more liberal mindset to her. She helped me to get over the whole naughtiness aspect of sex that had been drilled into my head since my youth. Being the career-minded individual she was, she decided it was more important to pursue additional schooling that would take her away from me. She wasn't really one to commit for the long term anyway and reflecting back I'm glad she wasn't.
Six months must be the max amount of time I can meander my way through life as a single person, because that was the amount of time to have passed before I met Liz. I remember being quite taken with her conversation style and her love of film and the arts. I thought she was a worthy companion to my musically oriented ways. Liz and I were together for about 2 years before we got married. I guess it was about 16 years between meeting and divorcing. One of the great truths of life is that people change. Folks that are married to each other will find a way to change together or they won't. I will admit that it was bout 7 to 8 years into the marriage before I started giving the idea of "someone on the side" any serious thought. I have never been one to entertain the idea of a one-night stand or having a mistress. To me marriage is one of the greatest ideas humans have ever had. I love everything about the institution and I sincerely hope that one day everyone will have the right to marry the person of their dreams.
That brings me to my love, Cece. I'll just come right out and say it. I CHEATED ON LIZ AND I DON'T REGRET IT FOR ONE SECOND!!!!! I always suspected that being in a band would lead to me meeting someone. I had begun to hope and dream it would happen and guess what? I met someone the old-fashioned way. Introduction through a friend. My cousin, Dave (who plays bass in the band) texted me saying "Patti's friend, Cece thinks you're cute" I suggested she "friend" me on the Facebook. It was all over after that. liking each other's posts led to private messaging which led to texting which led to me inviting her out to watch a band practice sometime. The indication was that she clearly wasn't comfortable with that and I don't really blame her. After that it was an invitation to lunch. I have NEVER been aggressive like that in my entire life, but there never was a time when I called into question what I was doing. I knew exactly what I was doing. I was so taken by the things Cece said in her posts that I knew it would be a mistake to not pursue something with her. Again I wasn't looking for a trivial one-night stand kind of thing or a "someone on the side" kind of thing. I knew what I wanted and I proceeded accordingly.
After accepting my lunch invitation, I began to plan out how I wanted it to go. I felt so good about everything that I took a whole day off on the off chance that our meeting would be more than just a lunch. I even packed an overnight bag just in case. I know ballsy right? I arrived first and got us a table. I was so excited I couldn't even sip the beer I had ordered. I kept looking outside and to the entrance and then back outside again in anticipation. The only other time I had seen Cece was at a show my band was doing. That's how we met and I must have been focused on the gig, because all I said to her was, "Yeah how ya doing" and that was it.
She finally arrived and a whole slew of things started spinning around in my brain. Questions like, should I hug her when she comes in? Should there be a kiss involved? Will she really like me? There must have been magic in that small embrace and peck on the lips, because I knew right then my life had changed forever and there was no going back. In fact I never returned back home after that except to pack up my stuff. Being in Cece's arms felt more like being home to me than anything else ever had. My heart was telling me that the search for my dream girl was over.
As I said before I didn't really know what love was. I knew what it should be and what I wanted it to be. My folks have the best relationship I have ever observed and I have always wanted that for myself.
I had the joy and the pleasure of asking Cece to be my wife. As we approach the one year anniversary of our exchanging of vows and the 3 year anniversary of our lunch (both on the 15th of April which she and I both find amusing as she is an accountant) I do so with absolutely no regrets. If given the opportunity to do it again, I would do it exactly the same way. Maybe not be as cavalier as I was with my Facebook posts about it at the time, but never in my life have I had such strong feelings for another human being like I do for my beloved wife. She is everything I have ever wanted. She is beautiful, smart, sexy and she makes me feel that everything in life is worth it. I am proud of everything she is and does. For the first time I truly understand what it means to put another before myself.
My heart and love are yours forever my Blossom!
I love you!!!!
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